You walk into a casino. You are bedazzled by the lights,
the colors, the people - oh, the money! You decide to warm
up next to a slot machine. You pick the perfect one. It's
next to the entrance (and you got an insider tip that the
best chance of winning is with those machines) you sit down
and open your wallet. You place your bet, pull the lever
once, twice, but nothing happens. You try and press the
button instead. Yes! You've just won 5 bucks. Good. You are
on a streak. You win some, then you loose some then you get
up. An old lady sits by the machine, your machine, puts in
a quarter and you already know what is going to happen
next. Yes. 7-7-7 and you want to kill yourself.

First of all - don't. Think of how killing yourself would
limit your winning chances. Then try to internalize that
slot machines aren't for making money. The only purpose
they serve is to feed your recreation needs. All of the
stories about grandmas that won millions on the penny
machines? They might be true. But those grannies spent a
good 30 years of their lives on the machines, while you
were out there, enjoying your business. There are a few
things to remember when you approach the slots. You might
call them tips, you might call them hope, but they sure
worth the read.

1. When that old lady made that spin and won a whole bunch
of shiny coins - it wasn't your win. You have had to hit
the machine at the same exact fraction of the second that
she did in order to get that money. You have more chances
of winning the lottery.

2. Take your time. There is no Play per Minute rate of
success. Doesn't matter how fast you feed the machine -
your chances still relay on one factor only and her name is
lady luck.

3. Hit the button or pull the lever? Some prefer the old
school method. Some go for high-tech. The casino goes for
your money anyway.

4. Here's a sure way to win - order a free drink. And order
an expensive one. If you lost some dollars on slots, why
not spoil yourself with a fine, triple bourbon on the house?

5. This one might actually work - try and bet the max
amount. There are more winnable combinations with higher
bets and they are always better.

6. The loose machines myth. Some say that the loose
machines are placed by the casino near the entrance,
cashiers, bar or anywhere near people who are not playing,
in order to get them to see winners and motivate them to
play. I say that there's a better chance of finding loose
screw in the casino manager's head.

7. That card you stick in there, well ye, it's actually
money. Casinos are using machine credit cards on a nation
that already has way more credit over its head. The fact
that you don't put green paper in the machine doesn't mean
that you are not gambling with real, hard earned money.
Know your limit and get out while you still can. You might
even be able to afford buying some roses to your wife.

Oh, and last but not least! Practice! This is the best
advice we can give you. The more you practice at home on
slots - the more chances you get at a casino. Naaa... We're
just messing with you. But if you are an addict and you
just want to play for fun and want to loose less money, or
you really want to know what's going on inside a slot
machine.