Would you like to know how to have an amazing relationship
with your partner? A lasting, loving, wonderful
relationship? To maintain that spark, the fire and the
passion for each other?

Then read on.

We all have 6 basic human needs. And these needs are:

1) To have certainty - to feel safe
2) To have uncertainty and also variety - to have change
3) Significance - to feel important to someone
4) Connection and Love
5) To have growth - If we aren't growing we are going
backwards, or worse dieing
6) Finally to have contribution - to give back something.

The first four are the most important and must be met if a
relationship is to survive.

In many relationships where a couple have children, I have
found the woman gets all her needs met by her offspring.
She will get unconditional love, significance, connection,
certainty and variety as all parents know. No day is the
same with children around. The mother may also get growth,
as she has to adapt to the children's needs. And finally
she will also get contribution as she is bringing them up.
If we are talking about a typical family here. When this
happens the partner can sometimes lose the love of the
woman, or that she doesn't show it as much because she
subconsciously feels she gets all her needs met from the
children. The husband feels shut out or pushed aside, so he
starts to hold back love as well, and so the situation
starts the downward spiral.

I have seen this happen in many, many of my clients. I am
now going to tell you something that might seem alien or
strange but listen up You and your partner come first.
Children come second. Not the other way round. If you are
both happy and strong together then the family unit is
strong. Period! It is essential if not vital that you
should look after each other first. I tell my clients that
they need to imagine themselves as a jug of water and the
children as beakers. The children need to be filled up by
you, but if you are empty you have nothing to give. Fill
you life up, look after yourself and your partner so you
can both fill your children up and all become stronger,
happier and a unit.

So how do you find out about how your partner gets their 6
needs met. Simple, ask them! Ask your wife or husband. Find
out how they feel certain. Is it from knowing that you will
always be there? That you're reliable. That you work as a
team and make decisions together. How do you feel certainty?

Go through each human need and find out how you get them
and how your partner feels they get them.

For love, is it when you are left little love notes, or is
it when you are told how much you are loved, or by being
touched? Find out what it is that makes you get your needs
met and make sure you get them met. Check in with each
other regularly.

Their will be times when you will subconsciously test each
other to see if during a difficult time you can still rely
on your partner to get your needs met. We all do it, as
this is part of having certainty. If during an argument
instead of slipping into an old habit and walking out which
does not provide love, certainty or significance and if you
always do it certainly won't be providing variety. Instead
stay in the room and let the argument ride the storm. Don't
shut down, stay open and see what happens. You could amaze
your partner, and become so much stronger.

Some people put certainty above love. What this means is
they won't truly offer their heart to you until they feel
certain. This can lead to all sorts of problems and
shutdowns. If you hold the needs for love above certainty
then you are willing to put yourself forward. When you do
this you can get so much back from life. I truly believe if
you give love you get love. No man is an island. It's true;
we are all connected and by giving love to your partner, no
matter what, they will give you so much back.

So please, find out what you need to have your 6 basic
human needs met, and find out what your partner needs from
you to get his or her needs met.

When you satisfy any two needs of a person, you have a
connection.

When you satisfy four of the needs you create a bond

If you meet all six then they will never leave you.

So find out what you need to feel satisfied and what your
partner needs. Check in with them regularly.

Here's to a loving future.

Enjoy each other.

About the Author:

Simon Jordan is the inspirational health coach and founder
of The Simon Jordan Foundation. For more information and a
FREE health guide worth $50 to help you feel great, visit
http://www.simonjordan.com