Many women I meet in my role of psychologist/therapist are
feeling miserable due to the break up of a relationship.
Some tell me that they feel desperate because they just
don't see how things can improve in the future.
In these situations I always ask this question " if your
sister or good friend were in the position you find
yourself in now, how would you treat her?"
Invariably I get the same answer with slight variations. It
goes like this. "I would encourage her to eat properly and
get enough sleep. I would try to make her laugh and take
her out of herself. I would buy her little gifts and treats
to show her that she is special and loved"
My response is to say, "that's wonderful' thank you - you
have just told me what you need to be doing for yourself".
As women we are nurturers' we care for others and yet often
the last people we nurture are ourselves. Caring for
ourselves isn't selfish it's practical. Caring for
ourselves means that we have more to give to and share with
Its time to start being your own big sister and taking care
of yourself. In a moment I'll explain a good way to start.
First I would like us to look briefly at your thought
process as you might be having thoughts that would stand in
the way of your success.
You may feel that lack of time or money prevents you from
bringing more pleasure into your life. The great news is it
doesn't have to take a great deal of either. Some pleasures
cost nothing, like taking a walk in the park on a sunny day
- or a lie in - or curling up on the sofa with a favourite
magazine or novel?
Most of the things we enjoy cost little and don't take up a
great deal of time. The important thing is of course to
take action on bringing more pleasure into your life not
just think about it.
I use an exercise along these lines when working with
groups of people. I ask each person to make a list of the
things and situations that bring them pleasure and to say
how often they indulge in them.
are almost always surprised about how simple
and inexpensive it would be to bring these pleasures into
their lives or enjoy them more frequently. We all need and
deserve pleasure so it's important to start bringing more
of it into your life now.
Spend the next few days taking care of your needs and I
promise you will start to feel better whatever your
situation. But don't stop there. Let caring for yourself
become a beneficial way of life beneficial for you and all
those that you interact with.