First, a confession. I watched Jon and Kate Gosselin's
break-up on Monday night's episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8.
It may have cost me my man card, but I couldn't help it. I
was glued. Having seen Jon and Kate on the cover of
Charisma magazine and their book at my local Christian
bookstore, I was grieved to watch another Christian
marriage go down the tubes--in front of millions of people.
What happened?

Many, of course, will point to the show itself as the
downfall of their marriage, and that could very well be
true; but as I watched the separate interviews last night
(in my defense, last night was the only full episode I've
ever watched) I couldn't help but notice the overwhelming
emphasis on both of their parts that the ensuing divorce
was "for the sake of the children."

In interview after interview, both Jon and Kate emphasized
repeatedly that their first priority was their children.
What was absent from the discussion was the priority of
their marriage. It seems that their underlying assumption
was that the health of their marriage had little to do with
the physical and emotional well-being of their children.

Understand that I am not writing this in any way to pass
judgment on Jon and Kate. Divorce is always a difficult
thing to go through and there could very well be
extenuating circumstances that the public doesn't know. The
reason for me writing this is to pose a question to my
readers.

I've always understood that the priorities of married
people with children should be:

1. God
2. Spouse
3. Children

The reason for this, at least as it was always explained to
me, is that when husbands and wives give priority to their
relationship with each other, it provides a stable
environment for the emotional health of children. Another
way of putting it is to say that healthy children flow
naturally from healthy marriages. Therefore, the marriage
should come first.

Jon and Kate's assumption on the other hand, and many,
perhaps the majority in my generation, seems to be that the
priority flow chart looks like this:

1. God
2. Children
3. Spouse

I'm making an assumption of course about the God part.
Since I don't know Jon and Kate personally, call that a
benefit of a doubt. Here's the question I'd like to pose to
my readers. Which of these flow charts do you think is the
most accurate? Of course, I realize that if a spouse is a
potential danger to children, then the other spouse should
do whatever they need to do to protect their children. I'm
talking about the marital priorities when normal problems
arise. Is the flow chart that I've always understood
accurate? Why or why not?

Discuss!